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PC-RenoiseFiring UP by flag Drax (Thomas Mogensen) , flag Laxity [MON] (Thomas Egeskov Petersen) , flag Mick Rippon , flag WAVE (Jeroen Tel)
Requested By: flagzoi
In Compilations: Compilation The Sound of SceneSat Volume 2
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Song Information

PC (other)You Can't Handle the Commodore

Author: flag Flack (Rob O'Hara)

Uploaded By: flagSTS-136

Song Length: 3:00
Release Year: 2009
Song Status: Active *
Song Bitrate: 256 kbps
Song Legacy Flag: R
Song Source: Compo Entry
Song Platform: PlatformPC (other)

Additional Information:

Tied for 7th place in the music compo at Blockparty '09


[First Verse]

Listen up kid, it’s time to put down the Wiimote
Drop the 32-bits, hop into my boat
Talkin’ trash like a punk emcee,
I’ll punch you in the face like the Ninja from Bruce Lee!

My kid is the son of an 8 bit,
In front of a sixty-four’s where I sit.
I like to battle, but I won’t bark on,
I’ll toast your ass like the Phoenix from Archon.

I’m great at a million games man,
When you were in diapers, I was cleanin up Wasteland.
Summer Games, Winter Games, World Games, too,
California Games cured my summertime Blues

Wanna play? Bring a DB9 Stick,
I got an old Epyx that I’ll kick your ass with.
You want mercy? Well you better start wishin,
You beatin’ me’s an Impossible Mission.

Like HERO, I’m about to fly,
With a disk notcher I’ll use your backside,
Like Lode Runner you’ll drop your load,
Then I’ll pick up your package of gold.

You’re a headbanger, cuz you bang your drive’s head
You’re like a zombie, and you’re already dead,
And I’m a serial killer with a serial cable,
Cuz you’re retarded, or should I say disabled?

Let’s play Pitfall, you know what to do?
Well take notes chump and I’ll give you a clue.
Jump over the logs, then swing on the vines,
And then you gotta UH OH out of time!

This battle’s over, I’ve already won,
Cuz you come last like comma eight comma one.
Feelin’ lucky? Wanna test your ability?
You beatin’ me? Realm of Impossibility.


I’m the king of [the Commodore]
You don’t want none of [the Commodore]
You can’t handle [the Commodore]

[Second Verse]

So bring what you got, whatchu think, you’re bad man?
Well I got skills yo, but I ain’t Rad Man
Cuz he does art, yo and I play games, yo
so pick up a stick and I’ll bring the pain, yo

Cuz here is the church and here is the steeple,
your only friends are Little Computer People
In Skate or Die you always fall,
So you can suck on my Wizballs

I’ll cut your head off, like Barbarian
I’m bout to school you like a librarian
Your expectations are never gonna be met
I’ll rip you apart like Racing Destruction Set

You think your bad, you better get your facts on,
Cuz I can rock a perfect score in Zaxxon,
Wanna play some Hacker or Hacker II,
Well look it up bitch I wrote the walk thru.

Your face is red, I can tell your pissed,
Cuz I whipped you in the Way of the Exploding Fist
Cuz I kick ass, and I never come in last,
And I’ll beat your ass at Boulderdash

Player one, player two, it just don’t matter,
In Karate Champ your face will splatter,
I’ll whip you, like a goddess wearing leather
You can Stay a while, but don’t stay forever.

In Beach Head you took two the dome,
You gonna need a Space Taxi to get you home.
Yes I’m better than you, you’re not just paranoid,
and I’m a 999 in Paradroid

Three minutes and this track is through
I’m number one and you’re 6502
We’re done here, and there’s the door,
I was right, you can’t handle the Commodore.


[Closing Comments]

That’s right, he’s the king.
You better run/stop your mouth.
Aw your disk is all floppy …
He’s got two kids — Vic, and Sid.
He’s gonna get you with an Isepic.
Yeah, you can’t handle the Commodore …

Last Queued : 2 months ago

This song has been played 33 times. [See Request History]
It was added 11 years, 6 months ago.

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Song Rating: 2.1 - Votes Placed: 42 View Voting History
A total of 3 users have this song on their favourites list.

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User Song Comment
It's-a me!

"I sent copies of the song out to half a dozen friends and the majority of them said, “it’s not as bad as I was expecting.” Based on their feedback I lowered the volume of the modem tone, EQ’ed the voice on the second track a little lower, and added the “end comments” which in the end I didn’t like, but it sounded better than having nothing there.

Blockparty had 15 song entries, and mine was number 14th in line to be played. As the organizers began playing the songs, I noticed something — none of them had any lyrics! They all sounded computer generated, and none of them were “songs” like I was thinking. I slumped further in my seat. I had misjudged the style of music completely. My only hope was that the crowd would be full of C64 fans and that they would like my jokes.

Well, they didn’t, at least not very much. I tied for seventh place out of fifteen songs which put me right in the middle. To be honest, after hearing the quality and style of the other entries I expected to be closer to the bottom of the list. While I’m not exactly proud of where I placed, I’m glad I entered and, if nothing else, forced a room full of a couple hundred nerds to listen to me rap. It’s a trauma I’m sure it will take some time for them to get over."